Updated: Feb 26
As scary and as awful as 2020 was, I was able to see the positives. I'm the kind of person who likes to make everything seem positive, even if deep down it isn't. But I guess last lockdown made that quite easy for me with the good weather and the mindset to make the best of a bad situation. I went out bike riding, started running, spent more time with the people I love. It gave me a lot of time to reflect on life, plan my career and realise what was important in life. For me that is something I am grateful for. That time I had to really think, which is something I think is so hard to do when you're preoccupied with other things like work, hobbies, socialising.
I feel like now, I'm just drained. From everything. I think the weather is playing a huge role for me. I don't really like being stuck inside all of the time, but on the other hand I don't really want to be going out for walk in the wind and rain. I guess I'm just finding it hard to be enthusiastic about doing things at the moment because the top and bottom of it is is that there's not really anything to do. This time round I dont feel as though theres that light at the end of the tunnel. Before it was the promise of an amazing summer, everything opening back up, the chance to see friends and loved ones again, it all just seemed an arms reach away. Now the end of the tunnel is so far from reach its almost impossible to see. I dont have any idea when I'll be able to see friends again, or when 'normal' will return. And I think that is inevitably what I am struggling with the most, that we have no idea when things will go back to normal.